Where, Oh, Where Did My Body Go?

(Warning: sarcasm is heavily used)

Well it has been around 3 months since the birth of my first, beautiful, child. I feel as though I am starting to really settle into this motherhood thing. My babe is really starting to get fun; cooing, giggling, and of course I think my baby is exceptionally smart and strong for her age… no big deal ;) Was I super naive or is anyone else out there that thought they would not be dealing with the deflated mommy tire anymore? I know it’s a miracle “child birthing” and all but is it gonna take a miracle to get my body back?

The dreaded stretch marks… I was not expecting to not have an area on my body that stretch marks couldn’t affect. Like really, I know I had a double chin but stretch marks there!?!  Ok maybe a little dramatic but my butt, my thighs, my stomach… my boobs L Is there anything I can do to salvage what’s left? I don’t know if there is enough bio oil out there. Or should I just start bathing it that stuff?

Thunder thighs anyone? This tire tube midsection is starting to get on my nervous. I have tried to be relaxed about it and tell myself “in time Heather, this too shall pass.” (This is what I would tell myself when I was pregnant and couldn’t see my toes anymore or bend over or get out of bed without feeling like a beached whale.) My plan was I had no plan, I just expected the excess weight and tire tube would melt away with breastfeeding.  With winter fast approaching I worry my passed motto “eat enough to hibernate like bear” is not going to serve me well with this shipwreck of a body already. I think it is time to get serious about this…

Did my breasts get run over? O… nope just getting the life sucked out of them, and I have a sinking feeling this is only going to get worse.  At first I thought “Yah! Ladies where did you come from?” My enthusiasm has waned to “Boobs where are you going?” I secretly shed a tear every time I take my babe off the breast and see my nipples getting more and more stretched… What 5 inches now? Isn’t that physically impossible?

All joking a side I feel blessed everyday with my baby and new life. Right now I’m ok with what’s left of my body, but hopefully in a few more months, with some actual effort, I can report back and let you know there is progress made and my impatience just got the best of me.