The Only Way Out is Through...

There is no way out of the experience except through it, because it is not really your experience at all but the baby's. Your body is the child's instrument of birth. ~ Penelope Leach

Birth is so much about surrendering to our bodies and allowing that pure, instinctual nature to take over. The only way out is through. Committing to a natural birth is an empowering and incredible experience. But it takes 100% commitment. You cannot just try it out. You have to remember that you are surrendering to the power of your body and allow it to guide you through the process of labour. The only way out is through. It takes preparation, support and unwavering commitment, but you can do it!

Family Bonding

It’s pretty common for the mom to be the stay at home parent; how do you get your partner connected?

WAHM!!!

This is a newer acronym for the revolution of women who are trying to find the balance between working and family by combining the two.  Work-at-home-moms are tired of punching the clock at a job in which their employers often don’t care that their child was up sick through the night, or that the school Christmas concert is scheduled during school hours. We as mom’s want to feel that we are contributing to our family in a meaningful way, both financially and in a traditional caregiver role.  Sounds like a perfect solution right? But how do we then balance our work as a “work-at-home-mom”, with the daily needs of our children, the maintaining of a household which OBVIOUSLY gets messier with children home on a daily basis, and the spouse who comes home at the end of the day and says, “what did you do all day?”

Even with all of those factors, this is a goal that I am striving to achieve. To find that happy balance between a meaningful career and a happy family life.  What are some strategies that other WAHM’s are using to find balance in their lives?

 

Mommy Wars!

Lately as I have been surfing the internet and checking Facebook I have noticed a very disturbing trend amongst some mommy sites, blogs and even the press…This new (or old idea that has been hyped up because of technology) debate that is the Mommy Wars. It seems that everyone is an expert on parenting and everyone has an opinion (yes the irony is not lost on me that I am writing this in a blog on a website of which I am a parenting consultant). What I don’t get is why we as mothers, sisters, daughters, and women are engaging in this activity. What should our common goal as mothers be? I believe it is raising our kids to become good people. I truly believe that when you strip every parenting philosophy down that is ultimately every parents’ dream- to raise a good kid, who becomes a good adult and productive member of society and hopefully maybe one day goes on to raise their own good kids.

By now I am sure everyone has seen the infamous Time cover featuring the tagline “Are you mom enough?” and a women breastfeeding her toddler on the cover….I admit, I have never read the articles or even the magazine this was featured on but I judged that mom- in my mind I said “no way could I do that! She must be crazy.” But then I took a step back, took the time to head on over to that mom’s blog and guess what I don’t think she is crazy, I think she is a good mom to two adorable children and she is doing what she believes is the best for her kids and herself and her family. She did make the choice to go on Time and that was her choice, and after reading her story it seems as though she was represented in a way that she hadn’t envisioned would happen. What impressed me the most about this mom though is how she took all the negative press that was associated that cover picture and she made the best of it…Her goal was to promote breastfeeding and her posing with her child did just that- it sparked a conversation that extended all over the globe. What makes me sad though is that I along with many others judged her for doing what she feels is best for her and her kids. Have we really came to that point in society where everything we do for our kids should be up for a debate?

A few blogs that I follow have been full of different opinions lately. Some are all for attachment parenting (AP) or what some term as "helicopter parenting" ( a negative spin on a differing opinion) and against anything that is not AP, some are against attachment parenting and all for "the cry it out method" or "baby wise parenting" or  what some term as “detachment parenting” (another negative spin on a differing opinion), some are middle of the road combining the two. Last night as I was sitting up with my son and reading these I noticed a trend. While everyone thinks they are doing what is best for their child, so many are taking the time to belittle what others feel is the best for their children. Why as adults can we not just say “Hey, you let your kid cry it out and they are sleeping or you have your child on a schedule and they are eating/sleeping right along with the schedule and that works for you…Way to go you are doing what works in your house for your family. I spend the night cuddling my kid and getting up with every cry, nursing on demand and that works for me and my family.” Instead we choose to take to our blogging platforms and denounce others as inferior to us because we must be the better parent. Since when did parenting become a race?

To breastfeed or formula feed is yet another discussion. And then if you do choose one or the other when do you wean becomes yet another battle in the never ending Mommy Wars. Why should it matter? If you as a mother/parent are doing what you feel is in the best interest of your child and as long as you are providing adequate nutrition for your child why is this a topic for debate? What works for one mom may not work for another and quite frankly what works with one kid may not work for the next even in the same family. 

The next Mommy War battle often is waged when it is time to return to work…In Canada this is around when a child turns one. If you go back to your career, some judge you as a woman who doesn’t care enough for her kids. If you stay at home with your kids you are judged as someone who doesn’t have time for herself or who throws away her education. But maybe those who stay at home with their kids are doing it because that is how they can be the best Mom’s they can be and those who go to work are doing it because when they are working and return home to their kids that is when they feel they are being the best Mom’s they can be. Sometimes it is just not financially feasible for a woman to stay at home and they must return to work to provide for their family, even if they would love nothing more than to be able to stay home with their baby. If ultimately you are doing what is best for yourself as a person and your child then why is what you choose to do such a hot topic?

Although I am sure that Mommy Wars have been waged for centuries, as it seems that once you have a child everyone has an opinion, but due to mainstream media and the internet the platforms for the many issues and battles in Mommy Wars have been raised. It  has been said that everyone would always raise the neighbours’ kid better, and maybe that is true. While I would like to say that I have never participated in a Mommy War- it's not true, I have had my share of moments (like I am sure many people have) when I judged other parents for parenting differently from myself, but this is something about myself that I am trying to change. My challenge for other moms and parents is try to start supporting each other.  I would like to think that we all want our kids to grow up to be good, happy, kind, respectful, productive individuals. How we choose to get them there is no different than how we choose to get to any destination- often there are different routes, all with their own challenges and benefits but all resulting at the same place, no one route better or worse than the other depending on your personal preferences. Let’s try to be how we want our kids to be- tolerant of other’s opinions and beliefs, kind, respectful and supportive even when someone is different from ourselves. Let’s quit these "Mommy Wars" and focus on how we are all the same instead of different. After all, I think each of us is just trying to be the best Mom we can and raise our kids to the best of our abilities in ways that work for our families. That is what I think is important and should be celebrated not the different ways that we take to get to our common goal. What do you think?

Hand Washing…

How important is it?  Do we wash our hands effectively?  Are our little ones washing enough? 

As a nurse, I can come home with chapped hands from washing them all day.  I know I am guilty at not watching my kids enough to ensure they are washing their hands properly.  Here is just a little reminder from the World Health Organization.

 

 

Harder than Imagined

As my fiancé and I began this baby journey I was more petrified of the pregnancy than the baby part.  I had always loved kids and enjoyed playing with them, the pregnancy and birthing part was what worried me. Turns out have the little one we created must be cared for every minute of the day and it’s harder than it looks.

The pregnancy and childbirth was relatively smooth and easy. The first few days were going well until my babe decided she didn’t want to poop as much as the “chart” says she should. So I began to fret a little. Then the midwives came to do a check-up and poke her little foot for the screening test… and they couldn’t get any blood. They poked her several times and no blood was coming. So that set off worry that my little one was not getting enough milk.  As a nurse I know babies can go from bad to worse very fast. Keeping that in mind, my midwife said she would come over the next day to make sure she was doing ok and get the screening test completed.  They were pretty busy so I was unsure of the time of exactly they would be coming over, just in the afternoon sometime. My little one seemed ok to me. I thought with having a nursing degree I had some sort of idea of what is bad or good, but being a new mom insecurity and uneasiness crept into my mind. She seemed very alert, feed well as far as I thought, her output was decent- I mean no dark color urine or anything like that… My assessments did not give me any red flags.

The next day rolls around and as I was napping, to catch up on some needed sleep, the midwives show up. It just happened that I was the only one at the house since my fiancé and mother had gone to town to get some groceries. If you know me, you know I don’t take napping lightly. I can’t just have a ½ hour nap, it’s more like 5-6 hours later I may arise. So of course, in the middle of one of those naps, I was awaken… disoriented and frightful of what the midwives would tell me I got my little one and they began their assessment.  They took a look at my little one; she was not jaundice at all and quite alert. Then they looked at her pees and poops chart- I had forgotten to mark down some pees and she hadn’t pooped for over 24 hours, so of course this set off major alarms with the midwives and they began, what felt like, an interrogation. Still disoriented and frightful I was not able to answer the questions with much sense and more panic began to set in. Am I breastfeeding the right way? How often? Has your milk come in? Have you been pumping and supplementing her? Is she hard to arose? Do I have a alternate plan other than breastfeeding?  Right as they were asking me questions my little one peed into an already saturated diaper. Fewf! Their panic level went from Defcon 5 to “OK she’s not dehydrated; she’s going to be fine.” As it turns out she had gained 1lb in 2 weeks, which is fantastic, and we chalked it up to my little one only needing to poop every other day. 

My apprehension had has waned, but that anxious feeling of not being a good mother or missing something still haunts me in the back of my mind. I worry about my child’s health and that there will still be a lot of hard times ahead. When hard and scary times come into our lives I hold on to “God never puts anything in your life you can’t handle” and “this too shall pass.” Although it is hard sometimes, like the thrush episode and the phlegmy cold already, I hold on to those words, the love of my family and friends, and knowing I am not the only momma going through these times.

 

Ethyl Mercury vs. Methyl Mercury

So what is the difference? What are we even talking about anyways?!? And why do we care what the difference is between the two? Ethyl & methyl mercury are two very different mercury compounds, one of which is found in our food chain, the other is present in our vaccines.

            Methyl mercury is not found in vaccines, but is an environmental contaminant that can build up as a neurotoxin in our bodies over time [1]. Methyl mercury can be found in our food sources like fish & therefore builds up in our bodies after we ingest them. Methyl mercury is eliminated very slowly from the body through our stool, which means it remains built up in our bodies for long periods of time [1]. Methyl mercury can affect development in babies whose mothers were exposed to methyl mercury before & during pregnancy, & as well, can cause neurological symptoms in adults who have experienced high exposure to methyl mercury [1]. These symptoms can include tremors, weakness, memory loss, & sensitivity to light & sound [1].

            Ethyl mercury is the type of mercury found in Thimerosal. Ethyl mercury is more rapidly eliminated from our bodies therefore it does not accumulate as fast or for as long [1]. This is makes it more difficult to assess blood levels of ethyl mercury in our bodies, & therefore more difficult to set safe intake levels [1]. There is the potential for ethyl mercury to cause kidney damage & neurotoxicity similar to methyl mercury when ingested in large amounts [1].

            In 1999, the FDA decided that:

            Depending on which combination of vaccines an infant received for each of his or her recommended vaccines, an infant could potentially be exposed on one day, to total levels of ethyl mercury that would exceed the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) safe intake level of 0.1 micrograms for methyl mercury per kilogram of infant body weight per day (p. 154)

Therefore, the decision to remove thimerosal from childhood vaccines was based on these two extremely different compounds.

            So, what is the point of this long winded & very wordy blog?!? I am not trying to push vaccinations on anyone. Basically, I want people to BE INFORMED! I want people to make educated choices for themselves & for their families. Take the time to do the research & use accredited sources of information.

 

2 books I would recommend reading if you have questions or concerns regarding vaccinating your children are:

Your Child’s Best Shot by Ronal Gold, MD, MPH 

Do Vaccines Cause That?! By Martin G. Myers, M.D. & Diego Pineda.

 

Both books offer great insight into the history of vaccinations, disease prevention, side effects, & much more. Happy reading!

 

[1] Myers, Martin G. & Pineda, Diego. (2008). Do Vaccines Cause That?! Galveston, Texas: Immunizations for Public Health.

 

Animals and Families…pleasant cohabitation?

How do you feel about animals and kids living together?  Many people love it and want their young children to grow up with a “furry buddy”.  So does that mean to have inside pets or outside pets?

Pets provide companionship, loyalty, trust, comfort, and valuable lessons on providing care for.  They can help kids develop self-esteem.

But, there are the constant hairballs that collect in the corners of the hall, the puke from too much grass or hairball, the dog poop (from an accident in the house) or smelly cat litter.

What are the dangers that they could pose in our environment?  Do the pros outweigh the cons?  My chocolate lab tends to “bum scoot” on our floor and it just disgusts me to no end.  It’s one thing to have the sticky handprints from my little munchkins, but my dog’s bum dragged all over.  (she has had issues all her 9 years, have seen many vets).  There was the one time they got fleas from a fox den they found in Northern AB…brought them home…made my skin crawl! 

Yes, they require extra work and commitment, but they become part of the family.  Our ten and half year old golden retriever was in our wedding photos.  My girls always ask why our dogs in the picture and not them.  She had her cruciate blown (like a knee joint) which required a costly surgery, only to have the other one blow a year later.  My point, I grumble at times for the inconveniences but I love them as family and definitely like having them when I am home alone in the country!

Pets can carry infections.  Cleanliness and pet immunizations are very important for a pleasant co-habitation.  Hand washing is always important, especially after handling a pet.  But I believe that they are beneficial for my family, but I will be the first to admit that they do lack enough exercise.  No excuses…even though I can list a ton!

 

Popcorn Twists & Bananas

Baby Nutrition

Time to start finger foods; good ole’ popcorn twists and banana for us. What were yours?

The “Nec-cesarean”

I am a huge supporter of natural birth. As a midwife, I believe in the power of a woman’s body and the normalcy of labour and birth. I have honed my labour support skills so that I can throw every tool possible into helping a woman achieve a natural birth. I love the look of awe on the partner’s face after they’ve witnessed a birth and I love the empowerment that women feeling following a natural birth.

What I don’t love is this culture of guilt we have created around birth when things didn’t go exactly as planned. As powerful and awe-inspiring as natural birth is, sometimes it is not meant to be. We are so fortunate to live in a world where we have access to modern technology and we can utilize interventions like cesarean sections in order to achieve the ultimate goal; a healthy mom and a healthy baby.

At the end of the day, that is what truly matters. A healthy mom and a healthy baby. The minute you hold that baby in your arms, it isn’t going to matter what way that baby was born, as long as you have a baby to hold. Birth has a unique way of teaching us lessons that we need, whether it be patience, belief in normalcy, belief in oneself, letting go of pre-planned ideals or accepting that parenthood requires an ability to go with the flow.

Are interventions sometimes overused? Absolutely. Do some care providers jump to using unnecessary interventions out of habit? Yes. And while I am busy at work trying to change that practice across rural AB hospitals, I want to remind you that sometimes, interventions like cesarean sections are absolutely necessary.

Momma cow and her c-section scar

When I was growing up, I loved springtime because that meant calving season for us. I find it amusing that my dad is so passionate about birth in relation to his cows but covers his ears and turns green when I mention it in relation to humans. Anyways, while I was home recently, a cow was having trouble calving. Now, normally my dad and brother are able to assist them right there on the ranch, but this particular cow was having extreme difficulties. So off to the vet she went for an emergency c-section. Yes, you read that correctly, even animals require c-sections. All turned out well and she had a big, beautiful calf. I watched that baby calf take its first steps and nuzzle up to its momma.
Does she care what way that baby was born? I don’t know. But what I do know is that at the end of the day we have a healthy mom and a healthy baby and really, that’s all the matters.

My goal in changing the culture of birth is to not only promote the normalcy of birth, belief in women’s abilities to naturally birth their baby and women-centered care but also to removed this culture of guilt we have created and the notion that women have “failed” if their births didn’t go exactly as planned. I urge everyone to take the time to speak with their care provider, ask questions until you really understand why certain interventions were used or why the outcome was the way it was. There is a healing power in simply understanding the truth of what occurred and being able to release that guilt or feelings of inadequacy when you truly understand the situation. And try and remember, when you hold your baby, and watch them turn 1 and 5 and 16, it is not going to matter how that child came into your life, only that they did.

Immunization Day

 The day has arrived that my little man is due for his immunizations.

 

Immunizations are a hot topic amongst parents. A quick internet search and you can find such a large amount of information both for and against it that it is overwhelming!

 

As a nurse my husband has entrusted the care of our children’s health and all decisions pertaining to their health to me. As a nurse I have seen first hand some vaccine preventable diseases and read studies on others and therefore I have made the decision to vaccinate our children. No matter how informed this decision is or how much research I have done in regards to vaccines I still approach immunization day with a bit of sadness.

I hate taking my kids to the public health unit and knowingly causing them  pain (yes I know it is short lived and temporary). I feel the urge to cry just thinking about when the nurse pokes my little baby with the needle.  I try to hide my feelings of being scared for my kids from them. In one of my practicum in public health I had observed that when the pain from the needle was exaggerated and parents discussed feeling bad that “the mean nurse” was going to give the kid a “sharp needle” that the kids and the nurse were both more anxious and their pain seemed to be worse than when the actual needle and pain from it was acknowledged but not stressed about. So I try not to say anything bad about needles and immunizations and I also make sure I am the one who takes our kids, as my husband doesn‘t really like needles at all.

On immunization day I tell my little ones (even when they are very small and have no real concept of what I am saying) “it’s just a little poke and it will keep you healthy, yes it is going to hurt a bit but the pain will go away soon and then we can get back to playing“. I give lots and lots and lots of cuddles and kisses. I give pain medication and I try and distract my kids as much as possible. I know in my heart that having the immunizations will help keep my kids from experiencing some very awful and uncomfortable health conditions and so I give them this protection. But my heart still breaks when I see the needle. My 2 ½ year old who accompanies us to the appointments for her little brother is sad when she doesn’t get to have a needle too and he doesn’t even cry a bit.

 

So it would seem that this appointment is harder on Mommy than on baby. What are your experiences with immunizations? How do you help your children deal with them?

 

Where, Oh, Where Did My Body Go?

(Warning: sarcasm is heavily used)

Well it has been around 3 months since the birth of my first, beautiful, child. I feel as though I am starting to really settle into this motherhood thing. My babe is really starting to get fun; cooing, giggling, and of course I think my baby is exceptionally smart and strong for her age… no big deal ;) Was I super naive or is anyone else out there that thought they would not be dealing with the deflated mommy tire anymore? I know it’s a miracle “child birthing” and all but is it gonna take a miracle to get my body back?

The dreaded stretch marks… I was not expecting to not have an area on my body that stretch marks couldn’t affect. Like really, I know I had a double chin but stretch marks there!?!  Ok maybe a little dramatic but my butt, my thighs, my stomach… my boobs L Is there anything I can do to salvage what’s left? I don’t know if there is enough bio oil out there. Or should I just start bathing it that stuff?

Thunder thighs anyone? This tire tube midsection is starting to get on my nervous. I have tried to be relaxed about it and tell myself “in time Heather, this too shall pass.” (This is what I would tell myself when I was pregnant and couldn’t see my toes anymore or bend over or get out of bed without feeling like a beached whale.) My plan was I had no plan, I just expected the excess weight and tire tube would melt away with breastfeeding.  With winter fast approaching I worry my passed motto “eat enough to hibernate like bear” is not going to serve me well with this shipwreck of a body already. I think it is time to get serious about this…

Did my breasts get run over? O… nope just getting the life sucked out of them, and I have a sinking feeling this is only going to get worse.  At first I thought “Yah! Ladies where did you come from?” My enthusiasm has waned to “Boobs where are you going?” I secretly shed a tear every time I take my babe off the breast and see my nipples getting more and more stretched… What 5 inches now? Isn’t that physically impossible?

All joking a side I feel blessed everyday with my baby and new life. Right now I’m ok with what’s left of my body, but hopefully in a few more months, with some actual effort, I can report back and let you know there is progress made and my impatience just got the best of me.

 

 

Get the Big Picture!!!

How many times have you avoided the camera because you don’t feel like the same beautiful, well kept woman you were before children came to bless your life.  I know I’m guilty. This post, by a woman whom I’m sure we can all relate to, captures the essence of our negative self image following the arrival of children.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/allison-tate/mom-pictures-with-kids_b_1926073.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false

 

Paying attention? Huh? Pardon me?

OK, this is me.  I have realized it a lot lately.  I am starting to believe that multi tasking is not for me.  I remember reading an article awhile back (not sure as to how much research was involved though) that indicated multi-tasking could be connected to forgetfulness or further diagnosis.  For me, I believe that. 

I used to call a friend and she was constantly doing stuff in the background…washing dishes, answering her other line,  cooking (with a lot of noise), you name it.  Drove me crazy…but she said she shouldn’t be wasting time and that multi tasking is so important.  I didn’t agree then but I now do that and I don’t like it!

 Yes, three kids and working part time (some times full time) one can see how multi tasking becomes a pattern in order to maintain some form of chaos.  But I catch myself not listening to people and thinking about all the other things that I should be doing.  Kind of embarrassing though… because I get caught asking a question that by their expression…I am pretty sure they had just told me that!

But it has really hit home with me in these past couple months… my girls are getting so big, sooo fast!  I need to smarten up and really, truly give them my undivided attention.  I know that’s truly all they need, attention and love from mom and dad.  It is so easy to get caught up in work and life that we make unintentional sacrifices that will end up being very costly in the teenage years.  Because being there half-heartedly or half willingly is probably worse then actually being away at work.  Makes me think of that song “Cats in the Cradle.”

My goal is to focus on my friend, co-worker, child and husband!  My husband always said that I don’t listen and I always said that he never told me!  But I think he’s right…(shh don’t tell him that!! Hee hee) 

 My Goal: I will not overcommit, I will slow down, and I will listen.

 

Baby Olympics

Raise your hand if you’re that parent who has never ever compared your baby to the one next to you at playgroup? Now be honest if you raised your hand I call bullshit and will be the first to admit that I found myself comparing my own daughter’s development to the baby next door.

We’ve been raised in this society to compete and compare and over achieve and unfortunately as parents we carry that into raising our children. I want to take a minute here and reassure each and everyone one of you, including myself, babies develop at their own pace and milestones don’t follow a certain pattern no matter what the books or your own mom has to say.

For myself this comparison really came to light when we moved back to the small town of Brownfield, AB and our daughter became one of nine babies under 1 year of age in the community. My first instinct was to brag about the new teeth, her saying mom and the copycat games we love to play. Then I noticed that the majority of the other babies were crawling. Let me share with you the pure devastation I felt when ours was ‘left behind’; I went home cried and called my mom for a little reassurance and support. After many hours of tears, loving words, and my own reading I finally calmed down and gave that amazing bundle of mine the biggest snuggle ever. A few weeks later I learned that those babies who crawled had older cousins or siblings and all they wanted to do was keep up with the pack. Given that our girl is the first for both she may not crawl as early as the rest, but I have no doubt that she will excel and be amazing at everything she tries in life and that disappointment is just a bump in the road to overcome as a family.

The most important part is to love that bundle of joy, encourage development with play and talk to your health care provider if you’re truly concerned that junior is falling behind.

 

Skin Care for Baby

Baby eczema, the itchiness and redness we want to stop for them. Tips, tricks, products to share?

As a health care professional I have found that people often looked to me for the ‘medical answer’ to their concerns and questions. However, I’d like to clear a little air and say that there needs to balance between natural therapies and medical therapies. This really came to light for me when my precious little girl exhibited eczema that progressively grew worse instead of better. Our first course of action was to take her to the physician and received the oh so familiar prescription for hydrocortisone. I knew the side effects of thinning skin and increased sensitivity to the environment later on in life, so was a bit hesitant to use it. Don’t get me wrong when used properly it really works and hydrocortisone is proven course of action for treating eczema.

Now that we’ve covered that how about a little food for thought on alternative means for treating eczema; of course the first step is to know what causes baby’s eczema and only a health care professional can truly diagnose this, but as moms and dads we’re pretty intuned to our baby’s needs. For us it all came down to a little extra bacterial flora in the stomach because of our C-section and the lack of that final squeeze to clear baby’s insides. After a visit to our local health food store and a conversation with a trained Homeotherapist, we started our little one on probiotics. The effects were not immediate, but when combined with hydrocortisone, no wheat diet, baking soda in bath water, and good ole drugstore lotions our baby girl was eczema free and loving life as farm baby.

Everyone’s experience with eczema is different; therefore no one method works for everyone. If you have any little tips, tricks, family trusted methods or ‘gut mommy feelings’ we’d love to hear from you and have the opportunity to share and make everyone’s parenting journey a little better. We’re on facebook @ www.facebook.com/ExpectingSuccess or Twitter @ExpectingSuccessRN

 

Teething...Still!...Again?!

Teething….Still…Again???

            Once your baby is born it feels as though everything in life happens so fast and you go through so many stages. Every stage feels at times like it is never going to end and at times like it goes so fast. Currently it feels like we are in a stage that feels like it is never going to end. At my house we are currently experiencing the joys of teeth coming in. My son is now 13 months and has 8 teeth (he started teething in April) and we are in the process of cutting couple more through. Teething at our house unfortunately involves a lot of crying, drooling, red faces, not eating solid foods, and prior to weaning marathon nursing sessions. Oh yes, the joys of this stage- thankfully they don’t remember it and truth be told I will likely forget how these sleepless nights and cranky mornings feel too. I feel so bad for my little one as he is trying to sleep and every time I lay him down he screams in pain. I have given him medication, cold cloths, and teething toys and the only thing that really makes him happy is me. So I sit here with him curled up in my arms and I stare at his little face, all red and flushed, but finally relaxed. I want to remember this moment forever (not the screaming for the past couple of hours that has preceded this). But this moment where he is completely relaxed cuddling with me and I had the ability to soothe him. I know one day he may have pain and I won’t be able to make it go away but for tonight I am so happy that I get to be the one who calms and comforts him. 

Bully

**Note: This blog post was written last month but for some reason, didn't post on the correct day, because I thought it was still such a powerful topic, I decided to post it today ~Amy)

My blog about vaccinations will have to wait until next week, because this morning when I woke up & was listening to the morning news, I saw another horrific story about bullying. This morning’s story was about a teenage girl from B.C. who after changing schools 3 times, was still relentlessly bullied & chose to take her life this past Wednesday. At the beginning of this week, I sat & sobbed while I watched footage of a grown man following behind a young girl with cerebral palsy. He was imitating how she walked & a grandmother in the parking lot videoed this shameful act. Last week an American news anchor confronted a bully on national television who questioned her ability to be role model for the community because she was not “a suitable example”! A few months ago, I watched children tease & taunt a bus monitor. These acts sicken me & make me wonder what kind of a world are we living in & what kind of children we are raising.

            I have only been a parent for a few months, but I really do believe that too many parents try to be their child’s friend, & not an authority figure. Are parents not teaching their children about kindness, respect, & tolerance?!? Do children just not listen? Or care? How & who do you place the blame on?!? Children most certainly do not have to be friends with everyone, but they definitely should be taught to respect & to be kind to others, especially those who are different from them. And I do realize that children & teenagers are not developmentally able to comprehend the consequences of their actions, but they are able to tell the difference between right & wrong! Hell, even my 8-month is starting to figure that out.

            I challenge parents out there to talk to their children about bullying. Find out what their children think bullying is & why they think its happens. Have they ever been bullied? Have they ever bullied someone? Do they understand what the consequences are & how actions & words can hurt a person? How would they respond if they were being or saw someone being bullied?

            I have posted the links for the YouTube videos for each of the above-mentioned stories. Perhaps you will watch these videos with your children. Take a minute to reflect how seemingly harmless actions can devastate another’s life. How can we change people’s perceptions about others & create a positive message of kindness & tolerance for our children? I would love to hear everyone’s thoughts & hope this is one of many discussions about this issue.

 Nichole Foot, RN, BScN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyeH1JOEBeA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Du4e2ZuSuC8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUOpqd0rQSo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3wHNndT2YY

 

Take Two :)

My second labour was intense and lasted about 4 hours.  I remember being anxious, event though I was still two weeks away from my due date.  My first had been two weeks early, and I was desperately hoping that this one would be, too!  My good friend had had her baby and I wanted mine!  (our first babies had been born on the same day, but we hadn’t know eachother then.)

My mother in law was up visiting us and to help if baby came.  This time it happened in the middle of the night.  I remember lying in bed thinking, “are these really contractions?”  After a couple hours the intensity increased and we were off in the middle of the night!  I was about 6 cm when we arrived and I did receive some IV Fentanyl to take the edge off.  Entonox made me nauseated.  After about 15 minutes of intense pushing, our beautiful baby girl was born.  I remember asking the Dr if I could go home later that day…hyped up on adrenaline at this point.

Even though she would have let me, I stayed one night just to rest.  The hospital had beautiful, spacious LDRP rooms.  One night was good, I was eager to get home!

My third pregnancy was great.  I was living in the Yukon and visited the nursing stations for my prenatal care.  My pregnancy was uneventful, I did get light headed and almost faint a few times due to the position of my baby.

There was this one time, I was 8 months pregnant…I remember sitting on the couch and baby did this flip…complete shift to one side of belly and the other side was concave.  But I didn’t think much of it.

When I was 37 weeks and 6 days we started our trip down to Whitehorse.  We camped in the backcountry at a lake just off the Klondike Hwy.  Everything was great.  The next day we got into Whitehorse and I had my prenatal.  The Dr did an internal exam to see where I was at.  I remember him saying, “you probably have a little while before baby comes.”  In the Yukon, you have to be in Whitehorse 2 weeks prior to your due date as they don’t deliver in any of the communities.

Later that day I was shopping with my friend, and I was having wicked Braxton hicks (or so I thought!)  I probably wasn’t much good to her, my attention was on my belly.  I remember getting back to the residence we were staying at and feeling frustrated.  We had just picked up pizza for everyone.  We ate and started getting the girls cleaned up.  By this point the intensity was unbearable and I said to my husband, “We need to go NOW”…15 of the LONGEST minutes of my life, we were on our way to the hospital.  I did not think I was going to make it.  It was just before 8pm (shift change) and we got to the hospital, registered, and got up to the labour floor.  Wow, that was intense, I can just imagine what people were thinking.  Of course they hadn’t received any of my paper work because I was only 38 weeks!  With some INTENSE contractions and pushing, our baby girl was born by 8:40pm.  No time for the IV or medication.  Thankfully she came early as she had a nuchal cord and true knot in her cord.  (I am sure she developed that knot from that time on the couch!) The Dr asked me if I had been a smoker because of calcifications on the placenta.  Never had I smoked.  They did insert an IV and give me some Oxytocin post delivery because of the fast delivery.

The one thing I remember was being in the shower shortly after and a steady stream of red going down my leg, then I got shaky.  So, I then got Duratocin, and did I feel those cramps! WOW, intense.  They give Duratocin to treat post partum hemorrhage. 

This Dr wanted me to stay four days!  Are you kidding me!?  I couldn’t wait to get home.  By day 2 I had convinced him to let me fly home (vs the 6 hour car ride).  That was enjoyable, plus I had the chance to show off my 2 day little peanut!